Posted by: I love my life | December 16, 2010

Who is your best friend?

Who is your best friend?

Your mother, your husband or your dog? There is a moment in life when you need a reality check.

Your best friend shouldn’t be your mom, your husband or your dog.  Really! Your best friend should be YOU. Yes, that’s correct.

Let me explain why your best friend should be YOU. You know yourself best, you know your personality, your tastes, your wishes, no one will take great care of you but yourself.

Let’s look at the case scenario that your mom is your best friend. I can understand that if you are still middle school or you haven’t reached puberty. Your mother is your mother and she took care of you when you were younger. Now you are a grown man/woman with her/his ideas, wishes,  ideals. If you are still insisting that your mother is your best friend, you need to grow up. Cut the cord.

Second case scenario; your hubby is your best friend. This does not work. Why? Your husband cannot provide you with everything, so if you are thinking that you can give up your friendships and be best friends with your husband this won’t last long. Why did your husband marry you? Because you had a “world of your own; your own friend, your own social life”.  So you while being your best friend, you always need to have and maintain good and healthy friendships outside your family. Many women give up their friendships or end them to “be with their husband”. This is wrong. Maintaining healthy relationships will actually help your marriage.  You would need this relationships even if you weren’t married,  we are social animals and we need to be around others.

Third case scenario, your best friend is your dog. Do I need to analyze this one? lol. Your dog cannot replace a person, he can’t talk to you, you can talk to him and  it’s like talking to a wall. lol.

As my best friend, I will now take a shower, do my hair, put on something nice, tidy up my notes and leave the house to meet up with my friends.

From the author: This note was written after what happened yesterday. Yesterday I was home waiting for maintenance men to come and fix the oven,  and they did come over for three times, barely ate any breakfast or  lunch waiting for them, ironed husband’s too many shirts, prepared documents for husband, translated stuff for husband and husband came home and screamed at me for talking on the phone when he rang the doorbell. He suggested he rang the bell many times but I did not come to the door.  This is not true, I only heard it once and opened the door then.

Conclusion: your husband/your wife/fill in the blanks person does not appreciate the things you do if you do TOO many things for them.  So set up your schedule everyday, fill it up with your to-do tasks and ONLY and I mean ONLY squeeze favors into your schedule when you have free time you want to donate.

Posted by: I love my life | November 28, 2010

To declutter or not to declutter

I have been “decluttering” if that’s the correct verb in English for the past three months. Why does it take so long? It’s 35 years of clutter.

I mean even “Bobby” (he was named after Bobby from Dallas because at the age of 5 I thought Bobby was hot, yes I see those eyes rolling lol) my first love, a stuffed dog is even in this clutter hoard.

I am now decluttering my remaining stuff at my parents house. After I moved out of my apartment to get married, I could not shlep all my belongings to where me and my husband were going to live, his apartment, 1400 miles away.

The feeling you get while decluttering is an intense feeling. I felt awkward at first, then afterwards I felt lighter.

I feel when I am throwing away the clutter, I am also clearing out mental clutter. I have to thank my husband for inspiring me to declutter since he does it all the time.

I have read many articles about decluttering and the reasons why we hold onto things. One thing I could not figure out is why I collect so many documents, books and magazines about my area of work. Do I feel deep down inside that I need to learn so much to be good at my job? Does collecting lots of clutter have something to do with inferiority complex?